christev
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 307
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 Posted: Fri Feb 16, 2007 7:43 am Post subject: Speeding car |
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It was 2:00 a.m. and a California Highway Patrol officer was sitting behind a billboard, eating a donut and watching his radar gun. Suddenly WHOOOOOM!!!! A car speeds past him topping out at 104 miles per hour. The cop jumps in his car and chases after the reckless driver.
He sees the speeding car weaving all over the road, and when the cop put on his siren, the driver panicked and drove into the oncoming traffic lane. He zoomed past cars and trucks, all frantically skidding and honking their horns. Somehow the cop was able to keep pace with the guy, and the driver did a 180 and drove in the opposite direction. The cop did a U-Turn and followed the car, and watched the guy break through a guard rail, over a cliff and land safely on the road below, only to have the car engine start smoking and die.
The cop scrambled down the cliff to find the driver staggering out of his car, obviously drunk.
“Are you drunk or something?” he screamed at the driver.
”Of course,” replied the guy, “You think I’d ride this scary roller-coaster sober?”
Starkle, starkle, little twink,
Who the heck are you I think.
I'm not under what you call
The alcofluence of incohol.
I'm just a little slort of sheep,
I'm not drunk like thinkle peep.
I don't know who is me yet,
But the drunker I stand here the longer I get.
So just give me one more fink to drill my cup,
Cause I got all day sober to Sunday up
The veterinarian told the blonde that her dog needed some exercise.
“You need to make sure this dog runs around,” the doctor said.
“Try playing a game of fetch.”
“I can’t play fetch with my dog,” the blonde said. “Why not?” the doctor asked.
“Because,” she replied, “He can’t throw.”
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Chris Stevens You get what you expect, so expect success!
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